Comfortable Lies 6/14/2026

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

Sometimes, when an idea keeps rolling around in my head and wants to be put to page, I argue with it. I tell myself that just because I want to say something doesn’t remotely mean that anyone wants to hear it. Then again, I suppose that could be true of anything I write. But when a concept keeps presenting itself, I usually give in and see whether I can form it into what I can only hope are coherent ideas. After that, all I can do is hope that the audience with an appetite for such subject matter happens to sit down at the table.

My brain recently began churning away at the idea of truth. Now, to my beloved regular reader (assuming those exist beyond my friends and family), don’t groan just yet. I know I have traveled down this topical road before. My thoughts today were about the difference between truth and feeling and how it seems to me that society has largely lost sight of the distinction.

Popular culture seems happy to push the narrative that if you feel something, that makes it true. This certainly makes things convenient. It leaves you free to pursue happiness and comfort, which, let’s face it, is an enjoyable endeavor. But all it takes is the passage of time to learn that this ideology is about as accurate as the information the baby wrens in the nest in my backyard could give me about being a largemouth bass. Although they are rather adept at the large-mouthed part, I digress.

You see, no matter how strongly you feel something, feelings change. For a somewhat trivial but appropriate analogy, think back to the days of your youth. Imagine that first crush. You likely thought (according to my daughter’s expertise, anyway) that you would marry this person. Yes, I realize this is more likely a girl train of thought than that of a little boy, but stay with me. You had these very strong feelings, and yet how many people do you know who actually ended up with their childhood fascination? And I am not talking about a high school sweetheart, because those can occasionally stand the test of time. I am talking about children passing notes and checking boxes about who they do and do not like.

I don’t suppose we even have to limit it to childhood. People these days sometimes go through spouses like movie theater snacks. Speaking of movies, if Hollywood has taught us nothing else—and I wouldn’t recommend letting an industry that makes wild amounts of money solely to entertain teach you very much—it has certainly demonstrated that feelings change. Considering who is with whom often resembles a revolving door.

It’s almost as if, when the Bible stated that the heart is deceptive above all else, it may have been on to something. But that is an exploration for another time.

While it is terribly popular today to say that you are searching for truth, I think this is often a boldfaced lie. The deception is frequently unintentional, but with even the slightest investigation into what a person is really after, the reality often comes to light.

If someone is presented with something proven to be true, yet it isn’t what they wanted to believe, will they accept it?

I’ll admit that is sometimes a painful question because the truth is often uncomfortable. If a person simply wants good feelings or wants to follow the path they already intended to follow, then truth was never really their destination to begin with. But if truth is what you are honestly and earnestly seeking, you will accept it despite its often abrasive qualities.

Please note that I do not negate the authentic pursuit of truth at all. For those who truly seek it, ask difficult questions. Truth is not threatened by questions. Do all the research. The truth has nothing to hide. Just understand that what you are searching for has no obligation to provide soothing feelings.

I suppose that is why feelings change so much: life changes so much. Feelings are like pillows that can be moved around, fluffed and even swapped out to fit the comfort of the one resting among them. Culture today tells you that your goals should make your life cozy and soft and that anything which challenges your satisfying state is oppressive or mean.

The thing is, truth is what is best regardless of how it feels.

Thomas Sowell once said, “When you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear.”

That seems logical enough, but there is that fact that what we want to hear is usually pleasant, and we like pleasant things. But what is pleasant is not always what is best for us. That is where truth enters with all its wisdom. It knows that soft things are not always the best things and that hard things often lead us to destinations beyond what we could have imagined.

Given the choice between endlessly adjusting the cushions of fantasy and feelings, hoping vainly that everything remains lovely, or embracing the reality of truth that stands firm even when the world is upside down, I will take the truth every day of the week.