Familiar and Not So Much 11/5/2023

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

In the grand scheme of things, it probably shouldn’t have been as impactful as it was.  It was pretty much an average Friday night. Sure, there were a lot of people.  There was a lot of bustling activity. There was definitely a lot of excitement.  But I most certainly didn’t see the long-term effects coming. I was thinking about the events of that evening for several days afterwards and, since that’s what I am writing about now and it has been over a week, clearly it is still on my mind.  I had no idea this was going to be the case. I assure you that meaningful internal dialogue was not what I had in mind when I attended a high school football game.

I guess I did expect a little bit of sentimentality. This is the school I went to. This is the school that my daughter too will attend.  So of course, I cannot help but feel a certain sense of pride well up when I see those colors. I heard cheers that I remember from so long ago.  I’ve also heard these same cheers coming from my daughter.  I haven’t been able to quite discern just yet if she likes it when I join in with her cheering. Her face starts off as a smile then I think she gives it a bit more thought and decides the old mother joining in could possibly make her cheerleading lose a bit of its luster. I suppose that is my job to make fun things become less so when I join in. 

I saw the band perform a rousing halftime show. Now, I need you to really understand just how small this school is and, by default how small this band is. It was the Friday before Halloween, and each member was in a random costume. There were superheroes, what I believe to be a founding father, vampires and at least one dog.  It always surprises me just how much sound a tiny little band with maybe 20 musicians or so actually produces.  I was in this band once a ridiculously long time ago. We were always surprisingly impressive for a tiny band. I am glad to see that seems to be a tradition carrying on.

I was also pleased to see the history in that stadium. Now, that may be an odd statement but let me explain.  I saw older spectators that have been coming to these games since even I was a student. And as I am not a spring chicken this is a significant accomplishment.  There are so many there that even if they don’t have a connection themselves to this school and community, they married in. We see former cheerleaders and old football players. If a face isn’t immediately familiar, once you see the person sitting with them, suddenly their tie to this place becomes apparent. Some of those faces from long ago look just like they did then, plus some grey and a wrinkle or two.  Then there are those that just have that faint inkling of familiarity.  That is something to behold is how differently people age. 

But I am always intrigued by how many people who grew up in this area somehow find their way back.  But there was one person who had a very significant impact that night.  She was several years younger than me therefore we didn’t really run in the same circles back in school. She was a cheerleader.  Now she has a son that is a senior playing football and another playing junior varsity.  I have interacted with her from time to time on social media and we have developed a friendly rapport. While I considered us on pleasant terms, I didn’t remotely expect what happened next.

We had arrived significantly early to the stadium for several reasons. Not only was this the last regular season home game, but it also decided the region champions. Also, this community wholeheartedly loves its football, so a very large crowd is typical, especially at a game of this importance.  I hadn’t been seated for long and saw down several rows below me the aforementioned former cheerleader.  She was as beautiful as she always was in high school and inexplicably hasn’t seemed to age much since.  I didn’t think much more about it until she suddenly appeared, sat next to me and hugged me. She proceeded to compliment both me and my mother who was with me, make very friendly chit chat (not vapid or pointless version like some do).  She acted as though we had been the best of friends for ages. 

Her actions sat with me all through the game. She could have easily just waved and said hello and would have been completely in the realm of reasonability.  If I am honest that is what I expected because I do in fact understand that social media is not real life and casual back and forth on the internet does not mean there is any real sort of connection with a person. But she put in the extra effort. She didn’t have to, but she did.  It is silly to say but I felt, well, for lack of a better term, special. You see, I had seen other people from my school days. Some gave the obligatory hello and that was it. And that is fine. But some, well some looked at me as if I had 4 noses and 7 eyes and basically did all they could to avoid having to interact with me beyond a disdainful smile. I don’t know why that was the case but, it was. And I would be lying if I said it didn’t sting a little. But this lady went above and beyond. I had no choice but to send her a message and let her know how much her actions meant to me. I cried while I typed it and her reply said she was crying.  She just knew I was a real person and she had done what she could to be the same.  It moved me more than maybe it should have but I never claimed to be normal.  While there were multiple aspects that made me think a lot that Friday night it was her actions that resonated.  She epitomized why I love this school and community.  There is genuineness and familiarity. This place, while it has its flaws, really does feel like home.