Deceptively Comfortable 4/23/2023

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

Last week I wrote about making choices.  As I sit writing right now, those choices are still very prominently in the forefront of my mind.  But fear not, I don’t intend to just repeat myself from last week. We all know I am infamous for rehashing topics, so I am going to try my best to at the very least not give you an abject rerun from last week.  I can’t say some themes might not be in a similar vein but hopefully not identical. Yes, last week’s stuff is still weighing heavily upon me but there is more on my mind now.  I cannot exactly say what today’s blog will turn out to be, so it seems we are, yet again, on this adventure together.

As long as I can remember, I have loathed confrontation. I don’t like conflict and while it is probably not an ideal characteristic, I will often go to excessive extents to avoid it.  Well, I say that but I can think of a few topics about which I would not avoid conflict, and could almost be described as embracing it. I am thinking, perhaps the fact that one of those topics is football loyalties might not be the most shining endorsement for me. But that’s just the more trivial example so I promise I do in fact have real and actual values.  I say all that to say this:  the upcoming choices for myself and my family will likely include conflict.  I do admit that this aspect appeals to me about as much as snacking on a roadkill sandwich but on occasion such things cannot be avoided.  Well, roadkill sandwiches most assuredly can be, but conflict sometimes cannot.  I understand it’s necessary but oh my days, I do not like it.   This time it’s a matter of principle though.  This time it’s a matter of defending truth.  I guess there are less honorable types of conflict to be had.  I don’t know that I particularly care for even the most honorable of them, but still.

The older I get the more I am learning that the right thing is often the hard thing. While I say it begrudgingly, I suppose it makes sense.  I mean, the easy, comfortable thing is pretty popular, but it’s usually popular because it’s easy.  Everyone likes boats to be unrocked.  Smooth sailing is always the preferred method of transportation.  But sometimes, if a boat is sailing along on calm seas, it could be headed for a waterfall. As difficult as it is, sometimes someone has to take the initiative and make some bold, disconcerting moves to get the boat back to a safe course.  And there is also the chance that the course to the truly best location is not going to be a smooth one.  I suppose there are unfortunately some people who would value less rapids along the way rather than the truly good destination.  And if you’re thinking that is some testament to today’s thinking, I assure you it is not. It’s been that way since time began.

I suppose, as I sit here thinking about it, it’s the people who travel off the beaten path that make history. We rarely remember the ones that kept everyone cozy in the status quo.  Hmm. That may not have been the best analogy to give myself considering being the center of attention isn’t really my cup of tea.  While I don’t necessarily want to go down in history as some innovator of significance, I do want to be remembered for doing the right thing.  And I want this especially when it wasn’t the easy thing, not to attain some sort of praise, I just want to be known as someone who did the right thing.  If you forget who I am that’s fine, just being known as a person that did the right thing will be quite enough memorial for me.  That seems like a pretty good legacy to leave.

So, right now I am at a proverbial fork in a river.  To the left are softly flowing waters with barely a ripple. I have to admit they have a certain amount of appeal.  If I am nothing, I am a creature that greatly enjoys my comfort. But I have a map. I know what is at the ends of those flawless waters deceptively reflecting a cobalt blue sky. I know that, at least in this case, the easy route is not the right one. To the right (see what I did there) are rapids and sharp rocks. It is not a route that will be fun. To navigate it will be hard work and likely there will be some wounds along the way. But around that last white-capped corner there is peace.  It certainly will be hard and there will be conflict which I loathe but, right is right and worth fighting for.  Now no, easy doesn’t always mean wrong and difficult doesn’t always mean right. But the truly worthwhile things will likely require the deep seeded effort.  And here I go, strapping on my life jacket and bracing for the bumps.  And while I am ricocheting off boulders and possibly even taking on water here and there, I know that the right thing will be, and always is, worth the fight.