So Says She 10/23/2022

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

I am still, even now as I begin the process, not entirely certain what I should write about. Anything I come up with is either something I am so inspired by that I have already written about it far too many times or it is something on the absolute other end of the spectrum and I can’t think of more than two or three sentences of minimal interest much less a full blog. So, when in doubt I sought out a source of wisdom that has yet to fail me. I can only imagine where your mind is taking you right now as far as envisioning some seasoned sage full of years of experience and learning. Perhaps you’re considering some beloved elder from my family or community or maybe even some sort of sacred writings.  While I am heavily in favor of both of those and viable options, I took a bit of a different route.  This week I turned to my daughter. She is nearing the half way mark of her 6^th year of life on this planet and surprisingly, in that very miniscule amount of time she has a wisdom beyond her years. I know that sounds a very typical sentiment from what is likely a very typical mother and I admit, the bias is there and the bias is strong but I have a feeling after I share a bit of her observation you might see I could be speaking more from actuality than bias.  Or at the very least the two exist in equal amounts.

I started off just blatantly asking her what I should write about. I fully expected a flippant and uninterested “I don’t know” and her to carry on about her business. As she frequently does, her response surprised me. She told me that I should write about how it is the inside that matters. She told me I should tell people that what you are like on the outside does not matter like what you have on the inside does.  How can I argue with that?  I suppose if I am honest I really didn’t expect a response in general and I certainly wasn’t expecting full blown wisdom. And now, here I stand corrected. Though, I will say that when I praised her for a very good topic and asked her to elaborate her tone changed. She seemed a bit annoyed that I asked for more. She exasperatedly informed me that she shouldn’t have to write the whole story for me and that she had given me what to write on and I should do the rest.  Well then. That’ll teach me that we’re told to not look a gift horse in the mouth because that is where the teeth are.

There was a time that she had planned out her future in elaborate detail.  When she grew up she wanted to get married and have ten children. Yes, I know, this seems a bit much. But let me slightly reassure you that there was method to her madness.  She wanted to have a dairy farm and as anyone who has a farm of any sort knows, more hands to tend said enterprise is not a bad thing. Oh, and let me also be sure you are aware that she did not just want any old milk cows on her farm. Oh Heavens no that would never do. And now you may be thinking that she wants the classic black and white Holstein that is the most depicted of the dairy cattle.  That is certainly what I thought as well. But I was in error in my assumptions. She quickly informed me that her family would be raising Guernsey cattle. She was adamant in this breed. I cannot tell you why this was her decision but she was insistent upon it. I also cannot tell you the source of her cattle choice however I will admit upon further research they do seem to give more milk with less food intake. I cannot say that my daughter knew this but then again I am not entirely sure where she heard of the breed at all either so, do with that what you will.

She hasn’t spoken much of the dairy lately and she has also revised her desire for ten children. Now she wants three. She wants triplet girls because, and I quote, “girls are less dramatic than boys”.  Now, clearly she has not entirely researched this decision perhaps as much as the dairy cattle. Also, she apparently doesn’t pay that much attention to her own demeanor if we’re being honest because oh. Oh my stars at the drama.  I mean on this topic alone there was a meltdown because I told her she didn’t in fact get to choose if she had triplets, and I was also pretty certain she couldn’t have one on each of three consecutive days as was her plan, she immediately took that as me telling her she could not in fact have any children at all and crumpled into a weeping heap right there in the bathtub. Once I assured her that I was, in fact, not denying her the ability to be a mother she immediately calmed down. Her emotions have a bit of a hair trigger but at least they go both ways.

I could learn a lot from her though. She really doesn’t see the outside of people. She wouldn’t make a note of anyone’s skin color because it is as unremarkable a trait to her in that she can forget it just as quickly as a name and I assure you she rarely remembers names. She only knows if she likes the soul of a being. She doesn’t care if it is old or young or what really any of its aesthetics amount to. She only knows who plays her favorite games with her, who makes her laugh and laughs when she tells a joke and who squeezes back when she gives one of her generously doled out hugs.  She is more than happy to absorb knowledge from others but has maintained a comfortably firm grasp on what she knows to be true.  She knows that God hears and answers prayers. She knows that kindness, while not always easy, is always best. She knows that even when she is having a bad day that chocolate can usually help at least a little. She knows that animals and children often have a better grasp on priorities than adults by making their expression of love quality time and affection. She knows that the breed of your livestock is pivotal for production. And she most assuredly knows that if she is asked for her opinion she should do her very best to provide a good one.