Sunshine and Scandal 3/20/2022

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

Spring is quite the mixed bag isn’t it? I’m certainly not saying that it is unique in that but my word, this season is just a regular game of Russian roulette! You can stumble upon any and all forms of glory and horror this time of year. I know it sounds like I’m being dramatic.  There is a small chance that this could possibly be true but if I really pull from my most significant examples than I truly am not.  There is just so much going on this time of year that I am probably overlooking countless examples of it all even as I sit and think. I am sure I will touch on some that may come to your mind, hopefully I may come up with one or two that didn’t. All I ask is that you don’t hold against me any opinion that I express.  I shall attempt to acknowledge both sides of the positive and negative as much as possible.

I am about to start with a topic and I daresay I can already sense the eyeroll that is coming.  I know. I understand.  I promise I will not dwell. Yes, I am going to discuss weather but it’s possible that it won’t be exactly the way you think. A lot of people look to this time of year with joy since the chill of winter is beginning to melt away into warm golden sunshine. If warmth is more your cup of tea, I can certainly see that having a certain level of appeal. I understand as much. But apparently, Spring isn’t truly out to give us warmth, at least not initially.  At first the season seems to take an exorbitant amount of pleasure in toying with the emotions of the population, at least in my area.  I don’t know if this is the case everywhere but where I live, the first span of Spring is a mixture of winters, false springs, nearly summers and other such nonsense.  I know in the south this isn’t an outlandish development, but this may very well be the time of year that the natural shenanigans are at their height. You could very well go from the danger of freezing one night to wearing very the most minimal clothing your modesty will allow you to wear within the same twenty-four-hour stretch, if not less.  Such craziness can go on over and over again in the course of several weeks. Whether you prefer cool or warm you are guaranteed a cruel rollercoaster for your hopes come springtime.

While I am leaning heavily on a negative aspect, may I have the liberty to go on full rant about something about this season that I just find downright appalling. I must begin with a disclaimer.  I love flowers. I love all kinds of flowers.  The blossoms that come with this season are by far one of its most glorious qualities.  The beauty of the blooms, however, bring with them an abomination.  The atrocity of which I speak of course, is pollen.  It takes over the world.  That is not an exaggeration. If you go outside or expose yourself to the outside at all you will be covered in a yellow dusting.  Yes, it is messy and causes assaults on our sinuses and the like, but, when you think about what it is. Oh the humanity!  Why can’t plants, especially the loathsome pine (it would be pines up to such treachery) carry out their reproductive processes in a respectable manner?  I mean there are pollinators out there.  Sure, we may be a bit short on bees but there are butterflies, birds, my stars surely the lowly pine beetle would be willing to volunteer if you asked him.  But for some reason pines (and several other species that I don’t despise enough to call by name) feel the need to spray their fertility powders in the air as the best method of continuation of the species. I do not see how covering every square inch of everything is the most efficient method for the process.  I feel like at the point of creation that God came up with something more like a little guided yellow missile that would efficiently find its appropriate tree. Then, I don’t know if it was at the fall of man or when everything went awry but that was probably the time that the pine came up with its own procedure of “spew everything and hope for the best.”  The whole thing certainly seems like a likely act of rebellion. So, I have sufficiently blustered on about some negatives and only slightly tried to laud their bright spots so I will try to close on a more affirmative note.  Spring can be beautiful with the rainbow of flowers set in the fluorescent greens of new growth.  There is the hope and delicacy of new buds and newborn animals that are seemingly everywhere.  Eventually the sun does take a firmer grip and begin to wake the earth.  Everything seems fresh and new. I am not denying it. It is a wonderous time.  But, if looking at the sun-kissed sky you see a cloud of abnormally yellow hue, it’s probably best to enjoy the season through a window.