The Softhearted Sword 5/9/2021

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

I grew up loving a strong female character. I have even mentioned in this blog my love of one particular cartoon heroine from my childhood.  I have always been enamored by the idea of some strong female character who possesses all the strength and bravery of a traditional male hero while also exhibiting the traditional beauty, compassion and grace associated with the fairer sex.  I like to think of myself as somewhat of a mixed bag of qualities as I always loved the snazzy jewels in their outfits but also the fact that they could wield a sword or engage in combat with the best of the fellows. Basically what I am telling you is if I could be the princess AND the knight then that would be directly up my street.  I’d want the really sharp sword with the exceptionally precise blade, but it was also going to have an intricately carved finish and, knowing me, probably a significantly jeweled hilt. I was recently at an arts and crafts fair and purchasing a wooden sword for my daughter to carry on the warrior/princess legacy.  It was as I was arguing with myself that I did not in fact need to spend the money to purchase the full size wooden sword so that she and I could play together, obviously playing warrior princess and warrior queen which, even as I typed that probably excited me far more than it should have, something occurred to me.  The character that I have always been so fond of isn’t actually something that is so far removed.  There are in fact, millions of these heroines across space and time.  I have simply been too far removed to see it.  Every mother who is worth her salt is a battle-ready, trial tested fierce combatant enduring more tests of strength both physical and emotional than many people could even fathom.  But then they also require the soft tenderness to kiss scraped knees and know just how the blanket needs to be tucked for the appropriately cozy nap.  How have this been lost on me all these years that mothers and super heroines of the highest caliber and they’re living their lives among us every day?

As I’ve told you, it all started with She-Ra, Princess of Power. She had it all. She was beautiful and compassionate. Her empathy knew no bounds and she even could heal injury and commune with animals. (Yes, her winged unicorn Swiftwind could talk but that is not the communing with which I am referencing.)  She had all the admirable qualities befitting of a fantasy princess.  But then she was fierce. She was ever rescuing the soul in distress and would battle the forces of evil without hesitation.  Looking at all the things that endeared me to her, I can’t help but see them all in my mother.  Other than her inability to talk to animals, though they do seem to love her whether the feeling is mutual or not, she does have this very magnetic empathy.  I cannot tell you the people that I know who have come to my mother to share confidences and seeking wisdom.  And this all seems well and good if not appropriate for a fantastic mother figure.

But there is the other side to my mother and you may have seen it in your own.  It even has its own term.   While my mom is one of the most peaceful and kind women you would ever care to encounter there is within her, as I suppose there is within all mothers of any quality, there is, the “Mama Bear”.  If you have ever seen what an enraged bear can do, you know that such terminology application implies a very formidable foe.  I have seen my mother, upon defending me, change into something so diametrically opposed to what is her most innate nature it is downright shocking. I can think of one occasion, it was a complicated undertaking from which I shall spare you the sordid details, upon which I was forced to do a difficult thing and there was a chance that I could be ridiculed and harassed for doing said thing. I can still hear in my mind, her steely voice as I asked her to accompany me as she said, “Oh, just LET them say something to you.”  It was as if she were daring any opponent to me from anywhere in the known universe to step forward so that she could annihilate them with all that motherly defensive love so overwhelming and effective it is like an atomic bomb delivered via muffin basket.  The bear had her claws at the ready.  Her simple presence alongside me prevented me from being subjected to much more than furrowed brows and short answers.  At the time I was just glad to have the unpleasantness sorted but I admit there is a tiny part of me that would love to have seen what the Mama Bear is capable of when defending her cub.

It’s almost funny to me how all these years I have loved the idea of a brave and powerful woman: a fighter but compassionate.  I was always enchanted by the idea of beauty and brawn, a sword in one hand, a delicate flower in the other.  She can split hairs on target with a bow and arrow but also comfort a crying child.  This ideal specimen of femininity has always been something that I was drawn to and finally it occurs to me why. This image of a female superhero is something I am surrounded by every day.  The woman that I have known even before I took my first breaths has lived up to every one of these attributes my whole life. We’ve all seen mothers defending the things they love be they children or causes and the ferocity is a force to be reckoned with.  And then one of the greatest joys is the warmth and tenderness of a mother’s embrace. Mothers, mine most especially, are all that I’ve seen on these shows that drew me in and left me utterly fascinated. I’m surrounded by them every day. I am a mother, I don’t particularly think I’ve achieved even close to the status that I would assign to my own mother but I do know if nothing else, the mama bear is there.  On occasion I’ve seen it rear its head within me and even I was shocked.  So all this time I have loved She-Ra Princess of Power and Wonder Woman wishing I could be in a world where such heroines existed and here I was living among them and having one of the most praise-worthy examples right in my own home for a huge part of my life!  I might even become one in the long run if I think wishfully. Perhaps I should have bought that sword at the fair, but then again, I suppose bears are already well equipped.