Branches and Roots 11/29/2020

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

I feel like I may have taken on a topic in this blog that is significantly over my head.  Not that I don’t think I can write about it, I just think that despite my innate ability to fling unnecessarily large amounts of words at a subject matter, I don’t know that the ones I can lend to this are enough in either number or gravity.  And if you’ve read my work at all you know for a wordy person that is a very significant thing to say.  Today’s theme is something that has almost as many varying definitions as a term can have yet we are all intimately familiar with it.  Actually, there it is right there in the word “familiar”.  Yes, today I want to write about family.  I grasp that this word can carry a weight hence my concern about writing about it and doing it any justice.  But at this time of year, maybe at more than any other, family is something we all try to do a bit more.  This year perhaps your group will include more phone calls and less people or maybe you’re going to do your best to gather all that can and will to make things feel as typical and comfortable as possible.  Things carrying on as usual are certainly something I think we are all grasping for these days.  So whatever the next month or so may look like for your family, and for that matter whatever your family itself may look like, I hope the things I talk about here wrap around you with all the comfort and familiarity of a hug from your favorite uncle, an afghan crocheted by your beloved aunt and a plate of whatever dish your grandma made best placed right in front of you, freshly made and glorious.

I realize that to different people family means different things. For some its definition is firmly grounded in a kinship of blood flowing through veins. The ties that bind wrap around branches of trees that grow far into the distant past.  Some limbs may completely fade off into the fog of anonymity but the genes are what means family to them. For others the tree is a bit more self-made with limbs from other trees grafted in with bark of all types and a plethora of leaves and fruit but they have all grown together into one organism that while seemingly a hodgepodge are deeply rooted in love that was chosen not birthed.  Such groups can form in countless ways by wedding vows, adoption papers or even simply a purposeful choosing.  There are those that simply say you are now my people, we will love accordingly and they absorb into themselves.  Both pull from the same life-giving soil of affection, companionship and attachment.

In the gathering of families there are some notable members that seem to pop up in almost every case.  I felt I would be remiss if I didn’t mention at least a few of these characters that I daresay will make most of us, regardless of our family, nod our heads knowingly affirming that these special members are very close to universal. Now, upon mention of my first group, try not to clutch your pearls. Let us begin with the crazies. 

It was said on a beloved television show based in the south that we don’t hide away our crazy family members we “bring ‘em right down to the living room and show ‘em off.”  This is not inaccurate.  Here we know we have those extra special individuals whom, while we love them dearly, we probably would not subject non-family to without a disclaimer that would sound very much like a warning. Sure, Aunt Lucille when finding out of her husband’s philandering ways held him prisoner at gunpoint in their home for a while to teach him a lesson. It’s fine. We know she’s crazy. Anyway, she brought a casserole.  Maybe they aren’t certifiable. Perchance it’s just a bit eccentric.  But we love them and they love us.  We also keep an eye on them, just in case.

Then we have the much beloved entertainers; those upon gathering that always have some amusing story to tell or perhaps just in their simple mannerism they keep a smile and a snicker appearing as they meander from room to room.  Uncle Bob who has many a story to tell of his mule that was forever breaking out of his pasture and finding himself in the stickiest of situations. You aren’t sure if this mule is or ever was a real creature and you find his antics certainly questionable in their factuality but that didn’t make the tales any less hilarious or endearing.  It could even be as simple as that one soul who despite the grey in their hair could keep children of all ages amused and enthralled for hours on end.  Those are the types that make the adults stand off to the side with a tilted-head smile.  Those moments will prove precious for generations and will be relived for just as long.

Finally, there are the parts of the family that are quite possibly the most important and most influential hence I shall call them the pillars.  These are matriarchs and patriarchs. They are the sources of time honored recipes and traditions as well as laps and hugs that could solve the most horrific of trauma.  These great, very near to holy, people can solve our problems with a simple talk or sometimes, more specifically, currency hidden in seemingly insignificant cards.  They help and dote on. They chide and steer in the appropriate direction.  Their roles are innumerable and their impact is both undeniable and enormous. We all know those great figureheads in our own families that are, to use the familiar phrase, the glue that holds the family together.  Many of us also know of the impact when such pillars fall.  We have all felt the pain when it seems as if a massive piece of the very trunk of our family tree is gone. We are not sure if the tree will continue to stand and if it does we are certain it will never stand the same.  You’re right, it likely won’t be the same.  But if those we loved did their job well (and they wouldn’t be a pillar if they didn’t) then the legacy they leave will prop up that family tree.  No, it won’t be the same, but it can continue on and fondly remember.

So as we are to the time of year that family becomes something perhaps we see more of or hear from more let us not take any parts of the tree for granted.  There are very few things in this world that are sure.  While even the greatest among us will not always be among us, we can be sure we are doing all we can to tend the ground on which our family is based.  The greatest water and food we can lend to our roots are ideas that are so far from new they could safely be called ancient. They serve roots well in storms or when the most pivotal parts of the tree become painfully absent. Apply generous amounts of faith, hope and love with the greatest of the three being the latter which should be applied in extravagant amounts. Let us be sure we take care of our trees, nurturing the roots and valuing each branch whether natural or grafted in. We should all strive to be pillars of our own one day.