Warm, Fuzzy, Falsehood 4/6/2025

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

I had a topic all settled on. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to write on, but it would work. It was a good story to tell and as I have told it to many people I know, and they all found it intriguing I decided to go with it. And I may still go with it on another day, but then I heard a song waiting to drop my daughter off at school. Interestingly enough, it was a song on Disney satellite radio from some animated film that came out several years, or more likely decades ago. I can’t even remember which film it was now. If I had my daughter near me, she would likely be able to tell me.  But the lyrics of this song struck me. It isn’t the first time that I have written about the power of a Disney song but this time I was not struck in a way for the better. The song gave such terrible advice to its listeners that I had to go on quite a tirade in my daughter’s general direction about how untrue its words were.  While I am sure she didn’t particularly appreciate my sudden outburst, she did take away from it an understanding of my sentiment and even agreed with me.  Wonders never cease.

It was a classic feel-good love song. It wasn’t really what I’d call a ballad. It was far to bouncy for that. But so many lines made me stop tapping my finger on the steering wheel and furrow my brow. I suppose the first one wasn’t so surprising as it is a line you hear in lots of lovey-dovey type songs. I often try to overlook it because I understand the idea is widely accepted. It doesn’t make the concept any less wrong, but I get it. It sounds nice. We hear it all the time; songs, or movies or all sorts of sources telling us to “listen to” or, in the case of this specific part of this song, to “be true to your heart”. Ugh. I gag just typing it out because this is a direct instruction to base your life upon your feelings.

It seems it’s a popular thing to do these days; to base your life decisions such as spouses, principles and pretty much anything important on feelings.  And though it is popular it is unbelievably stupid. Do we not realize that feelings change?  If I expect to marry someone and wake up every morning feeling like I am living in a sparkling haze of a romantic daydream feelings, oh my heavens am I in for agonizingly bitter disappointment. When you are married, you can count yourself blessed if you don’t have at least one morning or two when you don’t just casually wonder, without putting too much thought into it to become disturbing, just how long you’d have to hold that pillow over your significant other’s face before they stopped struggling. I kid. Somewhat. Again, I said thinking it without TOO much consideration. Just letting our brain vent a bit, you know.  Yes, my husband reads these, so he knows.  He’s probably had similar thoughts despite the utter delight to him that I am.

We cannot base anything of any significance on what our feelings tell us. They are unreliable and flippant at best and outright deceptive at worst. Some of the lyrics of this sound stated exactly that “your heart will tell you no lies”.  Oh, I beg to differ my dear song!  It even had the gall to ask, “why second guess what feels so right?”  I could literally shout and stomp and have a hissy fit at that statement!  Very often what “feels” right will be the absolute worst possible thing you could do. My daughter and I have actually had this discussion more than once lately that there will be times what feels the best will be utterly wrong and what feels the worst will be the right thing to do.  We, as humans, like what is easy and comfortable and that won’t always be what is correct or best. She is only 8 and ¾ years old but I daresay the sooner we can get that message drilled into her the better. I know for a fact it will come in handy during her teenage and young adult years but if I’m honest, it will serve her all her life. I feel like I have said things here that I have harped on before. I am pretty sure I have at least glanced over such matters if not waxed on and on about them before but as long as the message of following your heart is being pushed, I feel a certain obligation to push back. Your heart will tell you all manner of foolishness. On the odd occasion it may be right, but mostly it wants warm fuzzy feelings and comfortable cozy situations which I agree with it are indeed very pleasant. But pleasantries are not what life is about. Life is about doing what is right even when it is hard. It is about being an example to others that even when the feelings in your heart are fighting you tooth, nail, atrium and ventricle, that wisdom will get you farther than feelings ever could dream about getting you. I heard it said very well just recently that “Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.”  Feelings can be beautiful additions to life’s journey experiences, just make sure you don’t let them plan the itinerary