A Dying Breed 8/11/2024

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

It all started with a holiday on the lake. And by holiday, I mean the vacation sense of the word, not so much the specially marked day on the calendar.  I am fortunate enough to have a lake roughly thirty minutes from my home that has 750 miles of shoreline. I often take such a treasure for granted but it really is a thing of beauty that I should use to my full advantage. Well, last weekend my husband’s family rented a house on the lake for a bit of a getaway before the kids started school again. And just to add to the fun and relaxation we rented a boat to go out and about on. It all began with a lovely respite on the water’s edge, but it began a recurring discussion that I couldn’t help but ponder.

Now, if you have read my blog long you know my husband is a lover of all things water related. We got married on this lake, we spent a great deal of our courtship and our marriage with all sorts of fun times on those waters.  He is very familiar with every little cove and having owned several boats in his day, he is a very apt Captain. While we were out riding, he participated in something that I have always seen him do while behind the boat wheel. He does this every time another boat passed, be it a pontoon full of parents and joyous children bundled in rainbow shades of swimwear and life jackets or a flashy speed boat full of young people that could often make good use of a bit more swimwear, especially the ladies. When any boat passes, he throws up his hand in a casual wave. I remember for all the years he and I have been together and out on a boat, his hand goes up and more often than not, the passerby does the same. I learned quickly it was just an understood rule of the lake.

On this trip he behaved no differently and everyone else on the boat who had plenty of previous experience on these same waters knew of the unspoken tradition.  As for us, at least one hand, occasionally more, on our boat went up.  But then the commentary began.  You see, though my husband was doing what he had always done, the results for some reason were not what they had always been. This trip, it was a minority of people who returned the lifted hand.  There were those who just looked at him. I like to think perhaps they were unfamiliar with lake etiquette and just maybe didn’t know what they were supposed to do. Perhaps they thought he was waving because he recognized them, and they were struggling to do the same. That is what I like to think anyway.  It would make me feel a bit better if that were the case.

But some people, upon skimming by on the waves, made unmistakable faces toward our simple friendly gesture. Their faces were disdainful at best and disgusted at worst. They seemed displeased that we were showing courtesy, and they most certainly were not going to return any semblance of the favor. There were those that outright turned up their noses.  It was saddening to see that what had once been a pleasantly commonplace occurrence with every lake trip was dwindling. And you may feel as though I am overreacting to something so simple and relatively unimportant, but the thing is, this was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

It was not just those that ignored or scoffed at the wave. There were also those who were behaving in ways that broke the rules that weren’t so unspoken.  There were those who, in areas where you are meant to go slow for the safety of all around, and where this requirement is clearly marked, blatantly disregarding everyone’s safety by flying along. Not that there wasn’t always the occasional rule breaker, but this type of thing was everywhere and far more than we were used to. There was outright dangerous but also blatantly rude. At a popular spot people arrive by boat to buy souvenirs and famous boiled peanuts, there was a woman just casually lounging in the shallow water exactly where the patrons need to beach their vessels. Imagine if you will, the equivalent of someone just having a relaxing little picnic right in a prime parking space of a busy store. That is not something anyone with the common courtesy that God gave a lima bean would do, but there she was, and she gave every boat that looked at her whilst they wondered where to park a face full of snootiness.

Seeing such things in addition to all the unreturned waves made everyone talk about how they wished things were like they used to be. And of course, that topic quickly left the lake and moved to society in general. These days the same people that tell you that you can’t be offended by anything are so often terribly offensive. Caring about others before yourself seems to be a dying art and empathy along with kindness an endangered species. Valuing the important things appears to have often fallen by the wayside.  But there were a few waves on the water that had fingers instead of white caps. There were one or two who offered their hand to help a lady off the bow of her vessel. And, if you ask the ducks and geese at the end of our pier who had bellies full of unnecessarily large amounts of ridiculously fresh bread by the time we left, not all the good hearts are gone.