Wonderful, but Weird 9/4/2022

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

We all have our certain little somethings that just make us who we are. Now, I am not talking about those really vast dimensions of character like the things about which we are passionate or the things that have left deep scars on our psyches. No, those are far beyond the scope of what I am referencing today.  Today we are going down the rabbit hole of oddities which my family seems to have its very fair share.  We are a weird bunch. Mind you, I mean that in the best way possible.  My daughter will happily tell you or anyone that will listen, that we are a weird family. She or I or her Daddy will do something a tad off kilter, and she happily embraces it.  She will even announce, if she sees anyone at all, and being a human is not even a requirement, do anything slightly out of the norm, she declares that they could easily be a part of our weird family. So today I am going to tell you a tale of quirks and idiosyncrasies that are parts of my family. Perhaps you’ll learn that you have some offerings of peculiarities to bring to the table and you can be a part of our merry band as well. By all means, pull up a chair, grab a plate (because we’re a feeding family) and grab a hug or three. We’d be happy to have you.

I’ll begin with some of the most unique and brow furrowing examples I can think of and those will be a few belonging to my mother.  She is an amazing woman and those who know her love her, however, the lady has a few strange preferences. Now, all of these happen to involve food so they’re rather inconsequential, I suppose because she is just that awesome that her miniscule flaws are insignificant in light of it. I need you to brace yourself because these things I am about to tell you are most likely going to go against everything the little (or perhaps big depending on who you ask) culinary corner of your mind tells you. Let’s talk about cake. If you’re on the baking aisle of a grocery store and are looking at cake mixes, they have names like “Moist Deluxe” or “Super Moist”.  It seems pretty clear from this and watching any baking show or talking to any baker that a moist cake is the goal. Well, my mother likes dry cake. Yes. I know.  She will purposely leave a cake uncovered so that it can dry out. This is how she prefers it. And she feels the same about doughnuts. She doesn’t enjoy freshly fried doughnuts. The “Hot and Ready” light being on at Krispy Kreme is a turn off for her. The sign that implies that the world’s most glorious rings of fried yeast dough are warm and soft and their heavenly glaze is currently melting into to them, all that is not her cup of tea.  I know! Can you imagine?  She wants her doughnuts stale! I know. I am sorry for those of you who just had your head explode in confusion and trauma. I totally understand. I go through it every time we have a doughnut, and she is not keen on them being fresh.  I think calling this a quirk is generous. This may be more accurately called an aberration or something of the sort. Despite her wonderfulness, in this, my mother is achingly weird.

Now, that I have chided my mother for her oddities I shall attempt to be fair and visit some of my own.  I embrace it though. I know I am, shall we say, unique in some ways and I am alright with that.  For instance, an odd preference I have, which lines up with the strangeness of my mothers’ is that I prefer flat soda.  Most people are appalled by the thought of soda that has lost its fizz but to me it tastes sweeter. I know it’s weird. It’s probably genetic. I also don’t care for steak. I know a lot of you just gasped and clutched your chests.  I do understand that it is normally a prized dish, but I just don’t get it. If you can’t look at me the same after learning this, I totally understand.

In a non-food related strangeness, I love cemeteries. Now, this one I know is genetic because my parents do too. I like them old preferably. But I know why I love them is because there are so many stories and so much history in them, but still, if you make the announcement that you’re going to look at cemeteries you do get raised eyebrows.  My daughter has inherited the eccentricities as well though as I sit and try to think of them, they are probably more just a kid being a kid. I know it took us for ever to convince her to try a grilled cheese sandwich. We assured her that she loved all the components of it separately so she should love them together. She refused and acted as if we had asked her to taste pureed snails.  She has since changed her mind of course but still. And as for my husband, well, he has tolerated me for quite some time now so that in and of itself implies abnormality by default.  But then, there is also the fact that he doesn’t like full length pants. By this I mean, this man will wear shorts until there is a very real danger of frostbite and then he will begrudgingly wear pants.  Well, he will when it is that cold or if a situation demands it. There are also times that I am the aforementioned situation but still. It’s not just being hot-natured when even the hot-natured are concerned for the safety of your lower extremities then you have reached a level of strangeness.

I have rambled enough.  I realize that it is likely that none of you share these specific ventures off of the normal path.  But maybe, just maybe, the fact that some members of my family are in fact so out of the norm and we have come to terms with it might just make you more able to come to term with your own little oddities.  We are all out of the ordinary in some way.  I know we all have our own personalities, but I also know that most of us have just a sprinkling of strangeness tucked away somewhere. It’s a good thing though. And according to my daughter that just makes you a part of our weird family.  We have added teachers at her school, random animals, strangers in passing and all sorts of other characters with a touch of unexpected whimsy to our group. You’re welcome to join.  It’s a really big family and as I said earlier, by all means have a seat at the table. And rest assured, though my mom will be here too, I promise to make sure any cake and doughnuts are fresh.