The Pointless Practice 7/18/2021

By: Jennifer Richardson Holt

I am unbelievably skilled in the art of worry.  I call it an art because when you do it as much and to the level of involvement that I do it, it goes far beyond just an action.  Please note I do not make this claim with any sort of pleasure or delight in this accomplishment. I really would rather not be an artist in the medium of anxiety but it seems that attempting to not be will be a struggle I shall face the entirety of my mortal existence. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying to yourself that I am surely exaggerating and I probably worry an average amount like an average person and I am just waxing excessively on about it for some wordy related reasons. And while that reasoning makes a fair amount of sense for those who know me and/or have read my blog, I fear that you are mistaken.  I worry an extravagant amount.  I can honestly say that in a time of relative peace I will start to worry that I have forgotten something that I need to be worrying about.  Now you’re thinking that I am ridiculous for such behavior. In this you would be correct.  It is all that much more obnoxious really because I know it is ludicrous to think this way but the mind is a very independent thing and it often travels routes making journeys that nobody, even its owner, asked it to carry out.  So today you learn of one of my most prominent vices, what I have learned in attempt to combat it.  If you too are in this fight, welcome fellow soldier.  Let us march on.

I have begun to learn in the past year or so one aspect of my worry that I had never really looked at before. It is always helpful to gain new perspective in any matter and this has proven a valuable weapon in the anxious wars.  It all starts with the idea that we all know but for some reason for myself and I daresay many others, (my mother for one who probably was and is an unintentionally masterful teacher of worry) my mind absolutely refuses to wrap itself around it.  This gem of wisdom is the amazingly simple fact that worry accomplishes nothing. I know this to be true.  This is a blatant fact. No worrying has ever solved a problem, lightened a load or answered a question.  Other than causing all forms of burden and trauma for those who practice it, it achieves absolutely nothing toward the concern at hand, not one single thing.  I am fully aware that this is completely true.  However, that cheeky brain of mine insists on doing it still to the utmost degree!  Why brain?  Why must we do this that is of no avail? Let me know if anyone has some deep psychological insight as to the answer to that question. 

Let me return to the thought at hand.  Before I went off on a tangent berating my mind I was telling you how this truth led me to a new mindset.  How shocking, I digressed.  The viewpoint that came from this is to take a look at what I worry about.  Both I and I suppose most anyone who is worrying about something are anxious almost without fail, about the past or the future.  If you are involved in something in the present you usually know how it is going so you don’t worry about that current moment. Now you may worry about what has already transpired or how things will turn out but not what is happening in the very here and now.  I pondered this when I first heard it and made the face that I am making right now. It is that very matter-of-fact expression where your eyebrows go up and your mouth purses up a bit, you might even rub your chin.  It is the expression that says, “Actually, yes, that makes sense.”  I am forever worrying about events to come.  That is probably where I aim most of my anxiety.  Then there is worrying about what has already happened. I must admit I do throw a fair amount of angst in the backwards direction as well.  Here is where the truth should hit me square in the face like a steel coated brick. I cannot go back and change the past.  I cannot go forward and alter the future.  I am here. I have now.  But the somewhat magical concept is, what I do here, now can make a difference in both past and future.

It may seem excessively hopeful but we really, desperately need to embrace the present.  If we are doing our best to live a life of faith, hope and love right now then imagine the impact. Maybe you had a sordid past, or perhaps you were a rather decent egg but had a few mistakes that tend to haunt the backrooms of your mind.  Living a life of integrity in this moment, while it does not erase history, can certainly show that you have grown from it. Your present is your past’s future and look how far you’ve come!  The impacts of being a person of kindness, gentleness, peace, joy, goodness, love, patience, faithfulness and self-control on this day show that you are learning from your failures and tell you that the future, whatever it may bring, even if difficult, can produce that much more fruit!  The present shows you that even hardships, like you may have had in the past, can bring forth good outcomes!  Fear and anxiety are often a part of the journey but I must know that what is done with the moment I am given right now can change the course of the future as well as distract from any shadows of the past.  If we can strive to work towards a higher calling each moment at a time, worry has no place. If you are or I am living for all that is good, right and pure now, then the past and the future will sort themselves out.  It’s amazing how they can do that without any anxious contributions on our part isn’t it?  Now, to just get my mind to hang on to this concept.